Does true love exist
If you have ever wondered does one true love exist? I will lay all the cards on the table, the answer is yes. I have it and know others that also believe that true love exists.
Does one true love exist?
The purpose of this post is to give you an argument about love. However, not just about love but one true love. The number ‘one’ is an important word in this equation, err well I mean sentence.
This argument is for all you who are left brained and are skeptical if one true love does exist. This post is a little bit tongue and cheek, but nevertheless the logic is valid.
Consider my thesis in this post. However, in the end, perhaps love is a little like faith, for those who do not believe true love exists, no explanation is possible and for those who believe in love, no explanation is necessary. Or perhaps it is is something you have experience for yourself, it is a gift. So for all you doubting Thomases out there here goes.
Love and destiny are one
Does true love exist? But what if you do not believe in love?
Love is about is about finding your destiny. Love is unconditional and without limits. Love is not about finding someone that will make your life comfortable, or money, or education or profession or nationality or race or fat or skinny. Love is about finding your other half. That is it. There is only one person for everyone.
However, what if you do not believe that there is one love in your life. What if you do not believe in your destiny. In fact, some of my friends do not believe there is one person for everyone. Oh ye of little faith. Indulge me and listen to my reply. OK even if you do not believe there is one person for everyone. Let us look at this from a mathematical perspective.
One love - One life
Setting up a quantifiable, measurable conceptual framework for true love
Lets say that the mutual benefit of love generates something called “love utils”. That is, when two people are together they generate units of love happiness for each other. Let us make the hypothesis that these units are measurable, quantifiable units of happiness.
Therefore, If you are with a girl named Jane then she personally might generate ten units of love happiness for you. However, if you are in a relationship with Sally, then the relationship would yield a robust 12 units of love happiness for you. This is clear.
Even if you do not believe in true love you can understand the idea that some relationships are more or less optimal, the only thing I have done here is added this quantifiable objective measure to it.
In this measure of ‘love utils’ there is calculated and factored the sum total of all things that makes you personally happy. There will be different weights attributed to different factors and components. Each person will have a different utility curve. For example, if one person values intellectual creativity while another person values long legs, your personal love equation factors these components into the ‘love utils’ measurement.
Mathematical optimization – one true love must exist
If you understand the idea of linear algebra optimization, even if you do not believe in love as some abstract ideal destiny, then the reality is there is one person in the world who will maximizes your ‘love utils’. It is a mathematical fact. It is an optimization point if you may.
Present value of your true love choice
Now here is the problem, in order for this person to be your destiny they must be the person that would maximizes your units of ‘love utils’ over your whole life.
For example, you could wait to meet a girl in outer Mongolia that will give you 100 units of happiness every year. However, if you do not meet her until you are 98 years old and your expected life expectancy is 100, than you will only get 200 units of love happiness or ‘love utils’ over your whole life. On the other hand, if you meet someone when you are say 25 years old and this person gives you only 5 units of love happiness or ‘love utils’ over your life then you would get 75 * 5 or 375 units of love happiness from this person. Therefore, she is a better choice than the person from outer Mongolia.
Next if you consider in this equation all possible matches, all probabilities of meeting (although determinist do not believe in chance, they are not the ones I am trying to sway as I would be preaching to the choir). You also need to consider of course things like if the girl does not like you, she will not stay as she is also a love maximizer. Everything needs to be factored. Once you understand this and are aware of this than you can not deny there is one person for you on their earth that will make your dreams come true.
Dating burnout or diminishing returns
Further, people will say, ahh but Mark, what about the idea of changing partners and riding the waves of love, from one romantic high to the next. In the long run this strategy is ineffective for personal happiness as you begin to hit diminishing returns for each new partner.
You experience dating burnout. It is like eating one banana, the first couple are good, but after that, you experience this economic law of diminishing returns. Further, once you eat too many you might become allergic to bananas like some of my friends who claim they are allergic to love. Hmm, look them up when they are all alone in their 60s living with a room full of cats still cruising chicks and and see if in their heart they are really happy. This is on par with pitiful girls who claim they do not need love to make them happy. Sorry about all that, lets get back to the analysis and examine some more naysayers.
True love
I meet many guys who just want to meet a good looking girl who does not hassle them. They do not believe in the fairy-tale called love, ever. And I meet many girls who stopped believing in fairy-tales long ago. However, the truth is both patterns of negative thinking are a fallacy. If you find yourself in one of those camps, I only ask you to yield to the logic of this model.
See even if you are a person who does not believe in one true love, they can not argue with the notion that love is an optimization model. There is one optimal choice for you, when you consider all probabilities and factored weights and expectations in the statistical sense.
You need to consider all factors including such as, imperfect information, the ‘flight factor’ (that is the percentage of risk that she will dump you and run), how much effort it is to be with her, expectations etc. Love is reduced to nothing more than a deterministic equation, on par with an economic optimization model. That is where your marginal cost of being in is equal to your marginal benefit of being in a relationship. Once you find the intersection of those two points you can maximizes your the present value of that benefit over your lifetime, you catch that girl because that is the girl for you.
Love exists
Conclusion about does one true love exists
You can not argue with math. Even if you are some fat drinking guy that watches sports all day and believes nothing about love, you can not argue with the mathematics of my love model. The only conclusion is there really is one person in the world for you. Call it what you want, the ancients called it destiny. Go out there and find your one true love, your other half. Here is my page on love quotes in several languages, I hope they help for your search for true love.
Tags: true love
13 responses to Does one true love exist
Well, that’s all so nice.So deep and true in so many ways. But how often does this really occures? Is it really meant to happen to me? I had so many desappoitments that now it’s hard for me to let life be.I DON’T TRUST PEOPLE ANYMORE. I feel like I’m the demaged one. But am I? How much more frustration I have to go through to find out that I’m agging alone? Do I really need someone else?
I see my friends surching all week on. They meet guys and tend to accept more and more BS each time, just not to be alone.
I only know who I am in my work. Being a doctor I help people out everyday. I get enough sattisfaction out of this to keep on going. At least,most of the time. But the truth is that I hide myself on being good to everyone else. I’m done, you know. I live in a cinical city called Rio de Janeiro. Where people prettend to be nice, happy and joyfull all the time. The truth is that they are selfish and superfitial. All that matters is what people see and think about you. Is there a way out of this feeling?
Cris, this is a big problem many people face. But you know I find my guy friends say they have the same problem. It is not a girls problem it is a human problem.
I think the reason you have not found someone sincere is simple. You have not meet the right one. Me, I am a big believer in international marriages and relationships as I married someone from the other side of the world. Try to not to limit yourself to the guy next door as the world is full of possibilities. As an American I know lots of American guys that would dream of a girl like you.
I think for you is to meet a guy who is very idealist. Guys that are idealistic are more likely have the vision to see you for the princesses that you are. The others are not poet enough to see your beauty.
Cris,
If you live in Brazil, and you are not happy, then you either are living in some desolate part or you just ….
Cause Brazil is full of hot women and they are better then women in the U.S.
The person Cris is a woman not a man.
Well, ok. I just got out of a realationship. I think love doesnt exist, its merely a reaction to our driving instinct to not be lonely, to feel secure. Its an excuse we concoct inside ourselves to stay with one person, to have whats called a normal life, and as i say this im still crying. Love never existed, but she told me she loved me because “its what people need to tell each other”. I suffer from a mental illness called bi-polar, and that to makes it very hard to be with someone, or shall i say for someone to be with me. They go through alot, from suicide attempts to money spending sprees. Ive never been much of a thinker, but i work hard, and i gave her more of me than i had, but then when its true love you give everything, so what happens when your left with nothing?
Yes, true love does exist. It might not exist for you in this time and place. However, that does not mean it will not exist for you in the future. I have true love and I know many people who have been in love, true love for over 50 years.
Humans are animals and instinct is part of out psyche. However, that is not all we are. Humans have a soul. Of course true love exist. It is just that with this girl, things did not work out and time heals all wounds. I promise.
I would serious consider a non American girl.
Your illness has something to do with it, but not completely. One of my friends is married with a family and has this illness. The main thing is to be aware you have this. To be conscious of it and in your ups and downs be aware. Just be aware of it. However, that is not the scope of this conversation. I guess many people need meds to help them with this.
Anyway. True love is possible and does exist, you just need someone with a heart and compassionate not some b__ch that talks crazy none sense like that.
There’s no such thing has true love.
Did some sweet girl break your heart or maybe you do not believe in anything but yourself. Explain why your do not believe in love?
Very interesting post and feedback. I know that I had almost given up on true love. After a couple of divorces and being absolutely devastated emotionally and financially as a result, it would have been easy for me to give up. Yes, I was cynical for a while and had a hard time dating and opening myself up to women. But when the right woman came along it was easy. True love isn’t demanding or allow a person to leave when there are difficulties. In my eyes, it is stronger than anything on this planet and it sees past any difficulties, such as bipolar disorder or divorces, in my case. My wife saw something in me that even I didn’t see at times. I thought I was destined to be alone forever and I was cool with that. I didn’t need anyone and I was ok. Yes, I was lonely at times and I don’t think I really understood what life (or God?) had in store for me. I know that I appreciate my wife more thanks to everything that I went through in my life. Yes, my wife is Ukrainian and what may have started out as a shallow attempt to just not be alone led to a love and complete adoration of a woman that has to be the sweetest, funniest, kindest and most loving human being that I could have ever hoped to meet. It does sadden me that there are so many men that are not sincere in their desire to find true love with women from Russia or Ukraine but instead are just looking for a “hot wife” or a piece of eye candy. I do wish everyone the same happiness that I have found though. I don’t care if they find it in Ukraine, Russia, America, Canada, Columbia, Thailand or in their own back yard. I firmly believe that we were not meant to be alone and unhappy. Why else would love feel so grand?! =)
Great comment on does true love exist. I think others should read it.
I also agree with your comment many guys are going to Russia, for example, with the wrong intentions. However, the reality is they are cheating themselves out of their own happiness. True love and a happy marriage is the highest level of happiness. Nothing else can even come close or compare with finding your one true love. However, to find that, like you and I have, it take patience and courage.
It wasn’t easy, my friend! But nothing of value and worth having in live comes easily or without struggle. This is not to say that a wife is an object to have. I am referring to a loving marriage with a woman from any country. But a relationship with a woman from a different country and culture can be difficult for both parties at times. For instance, it’s very easy to doubt or become insecure given that I have been divorced and hurt in the past. It is easy to become scared that the same thing will happen again given my track record. I mean, I feel so fortunate to have found my wife but the international dating industry does have women that are just looking for a green card. Insincere women who are just looking for rich western men to win and dine them or to bring them to their country and after two years they dump them. But likewise, there are women that have lost their lives thousands of miles from home because they married a man that didn’t have the best of intentions. They marry a woman that they think is going to be subservient, almost like a slave. They might mistake shyness or culture shock for a subservient attitude and once she comes out of her shell and says “HET” a few times to their man then it’s “game on”.
But when you match a Western man who IS truly marriage minded and wants to love, care for and protect his wife and family and make his life a living sacrifice to those that he loves, with a Ukrainian or Russian woman who dreams of having a loving husband to live her life with and raise a family with…well, it’s pure magic!
Not in America.. The men go out of their way to spoil and pamper their women, and the women go out of their way to use, manipulate and degrade their men, before divorcing them and taking them to court for everything they are worth.
LOL! I find it difficult to argue with you there Yonatan! But you know what? Each and every one of my ex’s has come back to me at some point down the road and apologized and said that they regretted ever leaving me, divorcing me and hurting me. I have never taken any of them back because once that trust is broken it is very difficult to believe in them or the idea that they sincerely love me.
There is an old saying though that the best revenge is to live a good life. To move on with one’s life and find someone that does truly love you and care for you and whom you love totally and completely in return can definitely eliminate all the pain. You might even find yourself almost glad that you went through what you did to get where you’re at when you do find your true love.
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