Month: December 2008

The purpose of this post is to teach women how to be beautiful with a simple formula. Also for guys, to raise their awareness regarding what attractiveness beyond that Maxim displays on their list of Attractive girls of the month. Rather female has qualities you want in the dating and marriage process.

What is beautiful and how does this relate to women?
Beauty is something that gives pleasure without being consumed. This is a classical philosophical aesthetics conception of beauty which was articulated by Thomas Aquarius. Upon being seen it gives pleasure.

Something that it if you acquire or indulge then consume it, it is gone, it is merely a transitory saturation the senses. However, a piece of art you go not have to posses or use, rather it just radiates to your sense and stimulates your brain to give you happiness as long as you experience it. This is beauty.

A distinction between enjoyable and admirable beauty can be made when talking about women. Both ladies give pleasure to the sense upon being seen. Enjoyable beauty is more connected with sensual and admirable beauty connected to intellectual or spiritual pleasure. I believe for a girl to be beautiful only the latter really matters.

This is because all women have the same basic equipment. If you do not believe me. Go to the beach. This is a laboratory of beauty. All girls are wearing the same basic bikini and look similar with their stuff hanging imprudently out. Some are a little slimmer or rounder than others, but the equipment is the same. Certainly in the moment of truth to a guy, it all feels the same not matter if your with this one or that.

Or does it? If you are a human with any sense of awareness, from a spiritual standpoint it does matter.

If you go beyond the surface there is a deeper reality that does make a different. While one woman on the beach is smoking and swearing, and another girl is reading some deeply romantic and philosophically complex novel about love and human psychosocial relations that makes you see your own life in a different way. Which will give you more pleasure to you over your lifetime? Which is the most beautiful girl?

Beauty and virtue in one
So the question is can a woman be beautiful or simple alluring, sensual and attractive in an urge to mate with sense? Or does she need to have virtue?

The answer is obvious, if you understand what I wrote above. I recommend women be aware that to be attractive beauty and virtue is synonymous.

• After a time we are all responsible for the lines on our face. You do not want your life morphogenesis to be like Madame Bijoux in the Titanic who goes to the bar and wears her jewelry waiting for her long-lost love return. The key to finding a good husband and being beautiful is not to be socially trendy but aspire to ideals that men can be chivalrous and write poetry to.

Can you find beauty and virtue in one in America dating any more?

You can, but the cultural tide is so strong that it has swept many American women into the rip current and they are lost at sea in materialistic lies. They have been lost for a while and wonder why I am so lonely.

They wake up in their 30s as spinsters jockeying a career that has no real meaning, as no one really cares about titles and positions any more. The wanton carnal experimental discovery journey that they were playing in their 20s seems to have robbed them of their understanding of repentance and they try to rationalizes it.

Their scores of lovers are only memories and they are alone. When this happens virtue (which is not synonymous with purity) is gone. The best they have to hope for is finding that last hope guy on match.com who will fit their lifestyle of career and girls nights out with kids in daycare ASAP. Yet this will not lead to happiness nor beauty.

How can a girl be beautiful?

Life is about forgiveness, repentance and grace will follow. The key is sincere repentance and transforming your life into a model of virtue in the romantic and classical sense. If you understand that then you can have beauty. The allure that will attract the man of your dreams and make the next fifty years of your life a dream you would only read about in Harlequin romance.

I am an American living in Eastern Europe.  I am married to the most beautiful girl in the world, my girl, not some culturally determine distortion of fascination from disgusting Hollywood star.  If you are an American and want true love, I would highly recommend to keep your mind open to the whole world. Also comment what you think of the prettiest girl in the world.

What is beauty? What makes someone really attractive?

Read what makes real beauty and how to be attractive. What is your conception of allure on a woman? Who do you think is the most appealing lady in the world?

Being superficial here is a list of physical characteristics men universally find attractive on women:

1. Skinny or at least thin –  Even with me I stay in shape and you can play a xylophone on my ribs, even though I am married. If you are in shape you will command a lot of power in the dating arena. Things like chest face does not really matter. All women are made through a million years of evolution to be beautiful. You just have to control you eating with moderation and you will be.
2. A nice sense of style – This can include simply tight jeans, a designer t-shirt, and long hair. This takes little to no money. It is a winning formula for looks. All this can be bought at Wal-Mart. What can not be purchased is the body. You have it you need to practice self-denial for it to manifest itself.
3. Healthy glow from diet – Anti-oxidants either through diet or vitamins or both. By your 20s you should have an encyclopaedic knowledge of the role of nutrients plays in your looks. This is by default via the media bombardment. Well you can ignore all that and follow a simple formula like, eat fresh fruits and vegetables, take a good multi-mineral supplement and eat things like fresh ladyen and fish. Do not be too extreme and avoid instant meals and anything processed.

Virtuous ways to be beautiful for men

1. Making reading your obsession – If you do not live at the height of your culture you are swindling yourself out of your own life. Study art, literature, languages and music or chess in-depth.
2. Pray – I am not talking about having new age candles around your bed and quasi-spiritual books that tell you all ethics are subjective and relative. They are not. Develop a mainstream spiritual disciple. If you are catholic say the Rosary, if you are Protestant or Muslim read your holy book and all pray. If you are Buddhist mediate for an hour a day. Ask God for forgiveness of your sins on a regular basis.
3. Feel the pain of loneliness – This pain is only a calling for your soul to find your soul mate. Be patient, chaste, humble and your beauty will shine and you will outshine all the girls you thought were attractive you will see often become burnt out train wrecks. Feel the pain of your aloneness and let it be the magic that transform you into Cinderella.

Let me know what you think of my romantic and classical concept of beauty as it relates to women.

The lie of self-confidence – why self-confidence, money, and looks do not get women.

Dating websites or advice columnists will tell you universally self-confidence is where it is at. Further on dating sites girls like good-looking, tall men with a lot of hair and full of confidence to back it up. Men will tell you, you need confidence and some money to back it up. Men tell you in clubs you need to be an Alpha or a Beta with a good playbook to be in the game. Those are myths that have caused a lot of pain for men and women because it perpetuates a lie and causes loneliness.

• I am telling your straight. You do not need self-confidence. I can not even look women in the eyes, I often mumble and talk to the ground. It gives me the advantage that I can check out woman’s feet and shoes, but little else.

You do not need money or a job. You do not need a game. You do not need to be 6’3” or look like Brad Pitt. I had and have very little confidence. I am constantly questioning myself and analyzing my life. Learned how to treat a woman and became unstoppable with getting the woman I wanted. The purpose of this post is to tell you how to treat women to get them to like you.

I can write with authority on what women want and how to treat them to get them to like you. This applies almost universally to all girls unless they have some psychological imbalance.

Why I understand women

• Wife – I have been with my wife 24/7 for about ten years. I work from home and we do everything together and really do not feel the need to interact with too many people separately. We are basically together all the time and happy. How many people can say they live like that?
• Family – I grew up with two sisters and observed their dating and social interactions. I have a good rapport with this to this day. My mother married over 60 years.
• World Olympic dating – I also traveled across five contents with a series of dating misadventures and failures. Call me a monger but I have experience. I know what women do not want.
• Monastic adolescence – I went to an all boys school during my adolescence. I did not intact with women. I had to learn about women from classic literature. My distance from women during this crucial developmental time gave me time to reflect on the meaning of male female relationships. I mean I was living like a monk. I think I went like seven years without kissing a girl. That is a lot of reflection. When I figured it out I was unsupportable.

• Females heroines and male heroes in literature – I believe classic literature conveys well thought out details about feminine psychology crystallized into a lifetime of experience in the written word. Anna Karenina, Count of Monte Cristo or Pride and Prejudice are better than anything for understanding female desires. Lastly do not listen to women, most do not even understand themselves and are notorious at giving bad dating advice.

If you know the why in life the how is easy

What is the secrete to getting women to like you and how to treat them?

Authenticity – What is authenticity? You need to know the meaning of your life. Answer the question of why you are here and what is your meaning. That is it. If you know it and live it, then nothing else matters. Read Viktor Frankl’s Man’s search for meaning or take Landmark Education’s Forum or read my blog. Just get the junk and programming of society out of your head. Understand what authenticity is and this is the next level of self-confidence. It means you can be poor, not good-looking, and essentially powerless, yet powerful. Like liberation, theology teaches, there is a power in being powerless.

Once you have this understanding and live it in your heart, you can jettison misconstrued ideas about dating women, playing a game, self-confidence, money and all the other lies and the false dating prophets tell you. When you understand authenticity how to treat women is answered for you. You treat them in the way you, in your own individualization, understand at an instinctual level developed over a million years of evolution and a spiritual level.  Owning your own life.

Self-denial, self-abasement, and self-flagellation actually work better than self-confidence to prepare yourself to be a lady magnet

Now once you have authenticity you may have self-confidence, but I recommend humility to keep your ego in check. Even doing things that will humiliate yourself and make you feel bad, is good practice to keep your ego in check. Some people do penance and practice self-denial and abasement. I am not recommending self-flagellation as this can cause ego in itself. But generally try to humble yourself and stick to your dreams and not get involved in the measure and criteria of society you are born into.

With authenticity, you will be related to women with sincerity, humility, and gentleness. You can charm it up a bit and add some style to that and you will be unstoppable. My point is you need to get the rough edges out of your personality and spots that are sharp and freak people out or give them weird vibes. If you are authentic it will not happen and if it does you will not care.

I have been jobless and almost homeless and zero style and skinny as anything, but girls still liked me. I was real. I was passionate about literature, philosophy, and life in general. I did not look them in the eyes or have any cool meet lines. Rather I just was my own self. I listened and treated girls with respect.

If it does not work, date foreign girls for a while. They respond to this authenticity. Then with that experience, if you want to go back to dating American women you will exude a different aura. They will be attracted to you, but at that point, you will not want them.

How to say I love you in Polish

Kocham cie, Kocham ciebie, ja Kocham cie, this is how you say I love you in Polish.

Love is an undefined thing, no question. When you are in love the feeling is as strong in Paris, as it is in Cleveland USA or Jędrzejów ( a town in Poland famous for its Clock Museum, which is on third place in the world after Chicago Planetarium and Science Museum in Oxford in terms of amount and value of its Solar clocks). How you convey this is important. That is why I wrote this post, to provide some ideas beyond the obvious.

Expressions of love in general

Ways to express your feelings are countless, it depends on you and your relationship temperature, how many of them you will discover.

I think style and fashion speak strongly. I mean people in love do not walk around during the courting phase in white t-shirts and sweatpants, at least not in Krakow or Warsaw.

You can show love by the way you act – write poems, give flowers, make romantic dinner, sing by the moonlight, hold hands, look each other in the eyes, send love letters , e-mails and texting.

Polish expressions for I love you

As important as all this things that show your feelings are the words you talk to your beloved.

To confess love you can simply say:

• ‘I love you’ which in polish is ‘kocham cię’
• and also ‘I adore you’ – ‘uwielbiam cię’
• ‘you mean a lot to me’ –  ‘wiele dla mnie znaczysz’
• ‘you are my whole world’ –  ‘ jesteś całym moim światem’
• ‘you are the joy of my life’ –  ‘jesteś radością mojego życia’
• ‘you are my other half’ – ‘jesteś moją drugą połówką’
• ‘you are the love of my life’ – ‘jesteś miłością mojego życia’.
• You can also say: ‘you make me happy’ – ‘dzięki tobie jestem szczęśliwy (szczęśliwa) ‘
• ‘I feel good with you’ – ‘dobrze mi z tobą’.

When you refer to the person you love you can say:

• ‘darling’, in polish ‘kochanie’
• ‘sweetheart’, ‘serduszko’
• ‘my dear’,  ‘mój drogi’ for a man and ‘moja droga’ for a women.

In one of the best Polish love songs, a popular group “Maanam” the word “kocham cię” appears 18 times.

It is one of the best love songs I know. It is very sensual and very good to listen, when you want to learn to pronounce ‘I love you’ in polish language well.

Hot topic of love in Poland

Love is probably the cordialtest topic of all times, and it doesn’t lose its strength over ages. It is something that everybody are looking for and dreaming about. Poets, writers, singers, painters – they all get inspiration from love, for some reason especially tragic.

The ordinary people fall in love and so do the great ones. Polish king John III Sobieski was not only a great chief and soldier, but also a wonderful writer and author of beautiful love letters to his wife Mary, in whose he was totally in love.

The history of the verb ‘to love’ in Polish language, which is ‘kochać’ goes back to the XV century and it had many forms:

• ‘zakochać się’ –  ‘to fall in love’
• ‘pokochać’ – ‘to begin or learn to love’
• ‘odkochać się’ – ‘not to be in love anymore’
• ‘ukochać’ – ‘ to be in lust’.

The last term has a different meaning in modern Polish and it means the same as ‘pokochać’, but it is not in use as much. You can hear it as a noun more:

• ‘ukochany’ (male form)
• ‘ukochana’ (female form)
• ‘ukochane’ (neuter or plural form) quite often.
• Originally, in Old Slavic, the word ‘kochać’ was ‘kosnąti’ meant ‘to touch, to move’.

How Polish people express love

Polish people are pretty mild with expressing they feelings, especially the older generation. They prefer to show they feelings by simply being together in good and bad days more, than talk about them. My parents and my grandparents are very conservative with their feelings. They don’t have as much problem to say ‘kocham cię’ to the grandchildren or even children as to each other. I think that it partially comes from strict polish church, which is very traditional and rather serious in approach to love and family. On the other hand, especially man in all ages, have no problem to express their  affection towards a sport team…

The whole Polish society is also generally polite but distance at the same time. My mum told me that when she was a young girl and was listening to the group “Czerwone gitary” (Red guitars), which was a polish version of “The Beatles” her mother got very upset and forbid my mum to listen to this music. In my grandma’s opinion, it was morally wrong and inappropriate. This was the voice of the generation, and it had impact on my parent’s generation.

Today the trend is totally different and it came with politic changes. You can see it in films – the great part of productions are romantic comedies, which often get ideas from American movies. In the radio 90% of songs are in English, and most of them talk about feelings and relationships.

Twenty years ago we didn’t celebrate Valentine’s Day, now days you sure can tell the 14^th of February.  Young people are more open to talk about their feelings. Love is joy and it is the most beautiful thing in life and I get great enjoy and pleasure to hear and say the words ‘kocham cię’ to my beloved every day.

If you want to now how to say I love you in Polish with an indirect approach check out my page -> Love phrases in Polish

Here is my blog about  romance and love , bookmark and follow it. There are really crazy discussions about dating and girls from Poland and Eastern Europe and the world. Let people know what your experiences are there.

If you want to learn to say I love you in Polish and in other languages check out my page -> I love you

Please let me know what you think of this Polish view of love and I love you. If you want ideas on meeting women for love try other parts of my website or ask me. I lived in Poland long enough to know about these things.

Knowing each bait will attract a different catch when trying to catch a Russian female as your wife.

I would say that if a Russian does not clearly state they support Ukraine, I would not have a relationship with them.

The Kingdom is like a net that draws all kinds of fish. When you pull it in, there will be good and bad, and you will cast the bad ones away. – Matthew 13:47-48

Hang a shiny enough bait in front of a Russian girl and you will catch her like your lady friend. The main thing here is to find someone who is idealistic. You want to think like an idealist yourself. Many fish are in the sea but you do not want to date many. Whether Russian or American or whoever woman you want to date, your one and only true love.

Consider this -American guys offer – and the potential pitfalls of thinking like a non-idealist:

• The lure of citizenship – You will pay on the way out.
• A better economic standard – You will pay on the way in and on the way out.
• The thrill of travel – Could go either way, generally worldly girls are wild and attractive but have a flight factor almost on par with American girls.
• Romantic idealism – A husband showing more interest in humanistic intellectual ideas – You will find true love.  19th-century Czarist Russian culture was hundreds of years of Romantic idealism.  Relax on a dark lonely night and turn up some Tchaikovsky, read a little Turgenev, Lermontov or Tolstoy and this is the world Russian girls live in, try to understand it. Dostoyevsky such books should be mandatory reading for any guy searching the CIS for a lady friend.

• You want not someone interested in citizenship or money or travel, but only romantic idealism.

If you tempt a girl from Russia with one of the above, you will get married. Just know which bait will attract which female.

 Choose your rut (lane) carefully you will be in it for the next 10 miles – Construction sign in upstate NY.

Just remember they are trying to hook you. It is not a one-way sport. It is a dangerous game you play if you do not realize that.

When you browse these tempting hot-shopped hair and make-up girls on any Russian lady friend’s dating site, know what you are going for. Just like you are tempting them, they also try to reel you in.

 Women are man’s most dangerous plaything – Friedrich Nietzsche

The way to catch a Russian date

You want her to catch your scent, that is it.

If you put too much bait on the hook initially, you might not get a better catch but crabs on your line (literally and figuratively). Not that carbs are bad (the metaphorical kind), just that they eat your bait and they detract you from catching the prize fish you want.

The key is do you really want to catch her with anything other than the last point, that is romantic idealism?

My advice is this: The Russian education system is still the legacy of the Soviet system and is a classical liberal arts education. I firmly believe in this system. It teaches you what life is about. You study history, philosophy, psychology, art, languages, literature. Life is multidimensional, and if you want self-actualization, you must do more than go to a technical or business school. Even if you get out and are working as a secretary and living in a dreary block of flats, they are living at the height of their civilization. Do not think twenty years of classical education does not influence their worldview; it does.

The dizziest girl in a Russian club can spin circles around you linguistically and from a humanistic standpoint. Your advantage is your Americanism, not your blue passport. Americans are practical, business-oriented, and master communicators. Use your communication skills to build rapport and prove to her that you are not some Oki from Skokie who thinks Plato is a modeling compound you played with as a child.

The problem with Russian girls is not scams.

 I am not superstitious. I do not believe in the stars of the horoscope nor have I defied stars in the media, sports and politics. My ideal is not a superficial patchwork of religion but a religion with a solid foundation and clear profile. Hans Kung – What I believe.

The problem with Russian girls on dating sites, lady friend sites Mamba or VK is this: they are not religious, period. They may have been baptized or go to Church on holidays or talk about spirituality or morals, but that is a world of difference from seeing the purpose of life as building the Kingdom of God through humble submission to the will of the creator.

Hence, you will get a nice leggy blonde but might stew in some existential malaise most of her life. Is that how you want to live your life? It will bring you down and erode your ideals.

It is to screen the girls solely on ideals. You might even browse girls in text mode or with a browser like Dillo. Dillo is more of a minimalist browser and will ensure you do not see images.

Is Russian dating worth it?

Yes. I am an American married in Eastern Europe.  Without a doubt, you will not get the same stress as with an American lady friend.  You will have a 60% chance of divorce with an American lady friend. 20 % chance of divorce with a foreign lady friend living in the US and potentially none in other countries or if you find your other half. It is worth it to look for a Russian lady friend.

Best place to find a Russian girlfriend – when you go cast your net out

I would go on a historic tour of Russia. Learn about the history.

Talk to them in a normal way and please be honest. Do not try to impress them. If you try to impress them then they will have big expectations and then you will have to meet those exceptions.

What works if you are looking for Russian lady friends is sincerity.  This does not work with many American women as they are often shown. Russian lady friends are about real.

The Tale of the Fisherman and the Fish

Alexander Pushkin wrote about it in verse. It is about a fish who grants wishes. The man caught the fish was married and happy and lived in a humble cottage by the sea. The fish asked him and he said he was happy and required no wishes. When his wife found out her wishes were endless and this brought storm and unhappiness to the marriage. The man was able to command one wish to the fish over the noise of the storm and that was to return his marriage to the way it used to be. Let this parable be a warning to men who marry greedy Russian wives.